


in which things aren't always what they seem

by cascountsdeansfreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Gay Benny Lafitte, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Homophobic John Winchester, Implied/Referenced Abuse, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Yearning, abuse is not depicted in detail, but not at the same time, deanbenny - Freeform, i just love deanbenny ok, i still dont know how to tag, like very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cascountsdeansfreckles/pseuds/cascountsdeansfreckles
Summary: In a world where you can choose to discover the name of your soulmate on your eighteenth birthday, Dean Winchester thinks he wants to know who he is supposed to be with. He learns the hard way that one must be careful what they wish for. He finds his soulmate in Benny Lafitte, he can see his chance to be happy right in front of him, so why can't he stop thinking about his best friend? Dean is forced to choose between the love he is supposed to feel for Benny, and the love he knows he feels for Cas.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wasn't going to post this yet but i need validation to function so here's chapter one of my soulmate au!! i tried something a little different with the summary obviously. anyways I'm already pretty much done with chapter two so that'll be up soon. as always I'm lazy as hell so if my beta's missed any typos/issues i definitely didn't find them myself so please comment any huge mistakes!!
> 
> all that being said, there are a few references to abuse and homophobia in this chapter. it is not graphic but dean has a bit of a panic about it, so if that is a trigger for you please proceed with caution or click away from this fic. i love you guys!!

Dean rocks back and forth on his heels, his hands stuffed in his pocket. He’s craning his neck to see how long the line goes when his phone rings. He glances at the caller-ID and smiles when he sees the name and picture.

“What’s up, Cas?”

“Hello, Dean.” He pauses his restless movement, momentarily calmed by his best friend’s voice. “How much longer until you get inside?”

“No idea,” he says, glancing balefully at the line again. “I guess plenty of people turn 18 on January 24th.” The line inches forward as he speaks, and his heart rate picks up again. Castiel’s deep laugh on the other side of the line grounds him. He curls the hand still in his pocket a fist, pressing his nails into his palm. 

“Just be patient, Dean. Enjoy these last minutes of freedom before you’re locked into your destiny forever. No free-will. No--” Dean sighs loudly enough for Cas to stop short.

“Cas, would you stop it for five minutes?” They’ve been having this discussion since Cas turned eighteen a few months back. He’d refused to find out who his soulmate is.

‘I don’t want some random government agent to tell me who I’m going to end up with. When I know, I’ll know,’ he kept saying. Dean thinks that this just sets him up for painful breakups in the future when he gets with the wrong person, but Cas doesn’t seem to care.

“I want to know. I can’t--when Cassie and I found out we weren’t...I just don’t want to do that shit again, man. Not when I can avoid it,” he mutters, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut that repeats itself every damn time he thinks about it. About the way she’d looked at him when she stepped out the door. And he’d known.

“Aren’t you glad that you got to love her at all?” Cas’s voice is hesitant, apprehensive. They’ve had this discussion before and it doesn’t always end pretty. “You’re going to miss out on loving so many people--”

“I’m dodging so many painful ass bullets, Cas. You don’t get it, so just drop it. I’m here. I’m going in there and I’m finding out who my soulmate is.” They’re both quiet for a long moment. Dean can almost see Cas standing in the middle of his room with the phone raised to his ear, looking slightly out of place. He always looks a little awkward, as though he isn’t sure he’s where he’s supposed to be. Dean’s heart aches fondly at the thought, so he adds a playful, “you’re just nervous that it’s not gonna be you.”

Cas laughs again and Dean blows out a measured breath. The tension blows over. Cas spends the rest of the call distracting Dean from the longest wait he’s ever had to go through in his life. In fact, he’s so distracted that he almost doesn’t hear his name being called.

“So I told her to go fu--”

“Dean Winchester? Second call for Mr. Dean Winchester?”

“Shit--Cas, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you after.” He hangs up before Cas can respond.

His palms are so clammy that he almost feels bad shaking the woman’s hand as she introduces herself. Credit where credit is due, because she doesn’t immediately rub her hand on her long white coat. He doesn’t even catch her last name, but he is able to belatedly recognize that her first name is Tessa. She smiles kindly at him as she explains the process, her young face bright and optimistic as she brews something that smells like green tea.

“So, I’m going to give you this, and once you’ve finished the whole thing you’re going to feel a little like you’re losing consciousness, but don’t panic. That’s supposed to happen. Now, some people say they see their soulmate in their mind’s eye, but most just wake up with a name stuck in their heads. I encourage you to use the pen and paper to write down their name immediately. Sometimes we have people who are so out of it that they can’t remember the name and we have to put them back under.”

Dean nods distractedly, eyes fixed on the cup as she sets it in front of him.

“Obviously you already signed the liability waivers before you arrived, but I just need confirmation that you understand that in rare cases, this can go wrong and result in a coma.”

He nods again. Tessa smiles, reaching out and touching his hand softly.

“Mr. Winchester, I know this is exciting, but I need a verbal confirmation,” she says. He blinks.

“Oh--yeah, sorry. Yeah, I understand.” He grazes his teeth over his bottom lip, watching the steam rise off of the drink. “Can I--I mean…” He flicks his gaze up to her and finds her professional demeanor slipping as she grins at how eager he is. Not that he can blame her, he’s literally on the edge of his seat, his fingers tapping an endless beat on the metal table, inching closer to the cup.

“Yes, you can drink it now.”

He grabs a hold of it so fast that he spills a few drops of the searing hot drink onto his hand. He doesn’t notice.

He sits on the curb for an hour before he pulls out his phone and calls Cas. He picks up on the first ring.

“Hello, Dean.” If Dean wasn’t so distracted, he would’ve noticed the twinge of anxiety in his friend’s voice. Instead, he is watching his shoe drag across the bits of concrete that have come loose in the parking lot.

“Benny Lafitte,” he says by way of greeting. The intake of breath on the other end of the line is almost imperceptible. Benny.

“Benny like--like ‘first time’ Benny? Oh, Dean,” Cas half-whispers. Dean nods, even though he knows Cas can’t see him. First time Benny.

“Who’d’ve guessed, right? I mean--the one relationship I’ve had that ended on shitty terms. Why wouldn’t he be my soulmate? It’s funny if you think about it.” He laughs humorlessly, dragging his foot against the ground again. Cas doesn’t laugh. Maybe it’s because it was his door that Dean stumbled to, clutching his bleeding face in his hands after John found them together, but he doesn’t seem to find it funny at all.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. Dean closes his eyes. “Is he eighteen yet?” Dean shakes his head, and this time he forgets that Cas can’t see him. “Dean?”

“Um--no.” He clears his throat, hating the way his voice wavers. “Not for a couple of months.” He hears Cas blow out a breath. Dean’s own breath shakes. He closes his eyes against the stinging of tears threatening to streak down his face. 

“Well, this is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” Cas quips. Dean laughs, despite himself, and rubs at his eyes. Leave it to Cas to know just how to make this sickening situation just a little better.

“Can I come over?” His voice still sounds pathetically small. Cas doesn’t even hesitate.

“Of course.” Dean laughs a little again, standing on shaking legs and finally getting into his car. 

“Can we get fucked up?” This time, Cas doesn’t answer right away. “Please.”

“You’re buying.”

“I always buy. It’s my birthday, Cas!”

“You’re buying.”

And then the son of a bitch hangs up on him. What a dick. Dean smiles as he pulls out of the parking lot, the iron fist in his chest loosening its hold around his heart for just a moment. The whole drive to Ash’s Liquor Store, where they never ID him, and the whole way to Castiel’s place, he is only thinking one thing. Benny fuckin’ Lafitte.

Cas doesn’t grill him at first, he just takes the liquor bottle that Dean presses into his chest and watches helplessly as Dean stashes the rest of the booze and sets off to give Naomi a kiss on the cheek. He finds her in the TV room, knitting some unrecognizable glob of yarn and singing softly to herself.

“Dean Winchester!” she declares when he pokes his head in the door, setting her project to the side and reaching for him. “You look different from yesterday. Did you get a hair cut?” He allows her to grab his face and pull him down to land a kiss on his cheek.

“Didn’t ya hear? I’m a legal adult now.” He winces a little as she ruffles his hair before releasing him. As he’s fixing it, Cas catches up with him.

“Oh that’s right,” she teases. “Did you already go to find your soulm--”

“We gotta go, mom. We’re trying to marathon Star Wars and we have to start early or else Mr. Legal Adult here will fall asleep before we get halfway through.” Cas grabs him by the arm and yanks him into the hallway, away from Naomi’s questioning gaze. Dean sighs, letting Cas lead him down the stairs and into his room.

“Thanks,” he mutters, sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of the bed. Cas smiles at him and pulls the bottle of Barcadi out from under his bed, handing it to him. He starts to pull out a can of Sprite, but Dean cracks the bottle open and takes a swig of it. Cas grabs it away from him and stares at him with his mouth wide open. Dean coughs and splutters as the liquor burns all the way down.

“Dean,” Cas snaps, holding the bottle up and looking at how much Dean drank. Dean considers it too. Couldn’t be more than two shots, but Cas squints at him angrily. “That was too much. I don’t want to babysit you--”

“Then stop babysitting me,” Dean interrupts, reaching for the bottle again. Cas holds it out of his reach, his face hard. “Dude. Come on. I just fuckin’ found out my fuckin’ soulmate is fuckin’ Benny fuckin’ Lafitte.”

Cas moves the bottle to the bedside table and makes Dean a Bacardi and Sprite before sitting down on the edge of the bed and handing it to him.

“That doesn’t mean you get to chug a bottle of liquor and throw up on my bed,” Cas says, but his voice is softer now. Dean knows what’s coming. They’re going to have to talk about it.

“I hate you,” he mutters, without any real conviction behind the words.

“I know,” Cas responds, smiling a little and tilting his head. “What’re you going to do?”

Dean takes a sip of the drink Cas made him and grimaces. At least he poured him a strong one. He takes another drink, content to do that rather than talk. Cas isn’t going to be bailing him out any time soon, that much is clear about the way his best friend is pouring himself a drink. He has half a mind to refuse to answer, to just have some fun on his birthday, but then Cas turns back toward him, blue eyes expectant. Dean sighs.

“I dunno,” he says. “I could wait for him to turn eighteen and come find me himself, I guess. Even if I wanted to go to him now, I don’t even have his number anymore. He blocked me on Snapchat and Instagram. I’m not exactly his favorite person. Not after what happened,” he mutters miserably, taking another drink.

“You’d think he’d be a little more understanding,” Cas says defensively, drawing himself up. “I mean, it’s not like he didn’t see what John did! Dean, your face was--” He breaks off, looking distressed at the mere memory. “I barely recognized you when you showed up here. How could he expect you to handle the breakup well?”

“He didn’t.” Even as he stares at his drink he can feel his friends gaze on him. His face heats up.

“What?”

“He didn’t see. What Dad did. He was already out the door.” When he looks up from his glass, Cas is staring at him. The confusion is clear on his face, but it’s heightened in the slight tilt of his head. “What, you think Benny woulda just sat and watched him beat the holy hell outta me? If Benny was still there, he would’ve tried to stop him. Probably woulda gotten a few good blows in himself. Besides, if he’d known...it just would’ve made it harder.”

“Dean,” Cas says in that stupid quiet way that makes Dean’s stomach twist. Like he’s pitying him and exasperated with him at the same time. He clenches his jaw and looks away. “Dean, you have to tell him. You know you do.”

“Do I?” It comes out harsher than he intends and he cringes a bit. He takes another drink to cover it. “Why don’t I just wait for him to--”

“Because that’s months from now.” Cas stands up and begins pacing in front of him. “You’re both just sitting here, being miserable, when you could be together!” Dean takes another large drink. 

“You don’t know that he’s miserable,” he points out. Cas ignores him.

“He’s your soulmate, Dean. Call him!”

“I don’t have his number,” he reminds him. Cas curses, which is a rare occurrence, but Dean doesn’t have it in him to laugh like he usually does. Instead, he raises his glass and tries to take another drink. It’s empty. He reaches for the bottle, but Cas pauses his pacing to slap his hand away.

“That’s going to hit you later.” Dean glares at him, a silent ‘so what’ in his gaze. “Beer,” Cas says firmly. Dean rolls his eyes, but allows him to pull a can from under his bed and hand it to him.

“It’s warm,” he complains, but Cas has continued his pacing and his ignoring of Dean. On his birthday no less. “Castiel, stop being a tightass. It’s my birthday. Please drink with me.” Cas stills, but he doesn’t look convinced until Dean musters up the cutest half-smile he can manage. “Please.” He can practically see Cas’s resolve crumbling. He’s always been a bit of a softie.

Eventually he gets Cas to loosen up enough that they even play Around the World, which he is suspiciously good at. Dean is fucked up by the fourth time he gets sent back to the beginning of the round. He allows himself to relax, to forget, to just be in the moment with Cas. Cas, who always makes things better. 

When his phone begins to ring three months later, Dean is sitting at the kitchen table with Sam. He grabs it before the ringtone can wake John up from his slumber on the couch.

“Hello?” Sam barely looks up from his book. Still, Dean stands up and wanders towards the fridge. 

“Has he called?”

“No, Cas.”

“Well, that’s okay. Maybe he just hasn’t gone yet. What if he doesn’t go at all? Or he doesn’t know how to unblock you? Or--”

“Or he tries to call me while I’m on the phone with an idiot and he can’t reach me,” Dean adds pointedly. Cas goes quiet. “Seriously, Cas. Why’re you more invested in this than I am?”

“I just want you to be happy, that’s all,” Cas mutters. Dean feels a little guilty for calling him an idiot. “Call me after he calls you, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Dean says. “See you.”

The phone doesn’t ring for the rest of the day. He does a puzzle with Sam. Charlie comes over to play COD. Nobody adds him on Snapchat. Charlie goes home. John wakes up enough to move from the couch to his bedroom. Sam has a date with a girl named Jess. Dean drops him off. He checks to make sure his ringer is on. He checks how much data he has left. He makes sure he has service. Nobody calls. Nobody calls. Nobody calls. SOMEONE IS CALLING.

He pulls a muscle in his neck from twisting around so fast, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t recognize the number on his screen.

“Hello?”

“Hello. This is your last warning! Your credit card payment--” He hangs up. Fucking scammers.

He falls asleep with his phone clutched in his hand. Waiting.

“Dean! Wake up. Wake up.” Someone is shaking his shoulders. He pushes them away, turning to hide his face in his pillow. “Dean, Benny is here,” Sam hisses. All thoughts of returning to his warm sleep leave his mind and he shoots out of bed.

“What?”

“The guy…” Sam breaks off, looking a little awkward. The guy dad found out you were dating. “He’s in the kitchen.”

“Fuck,” Dean groans, glancing at himself in the mirror that sits over his dresser. His hair is sticking up in every direction, not to mention the fact that he’s in a ripped t-shirt that he thinks might be Cas’ and boxers. “Where’s dad?”

“Asleep,” Sam answers eagerly. Dean doesn’t have enough time to wonder just how much his brother knows about the situation.

“Go entertain Benny for a minute. I gotta get dressed.” Sam nods determinedly, turning on his heels and going straight for the door. Dean hops around his room, pulling on a pair of jeans from the floor and grabbing a sweatshirt from the back of a chair. He can’t do much more than attempt to pat down his hair. 

Benny is in the kitchen. Waiting for him. Benny knows that they’re soulmates and he’s here. Here for the first time since Benny had dropped the l bomb right before John came storming into the room.

His legs are numb, but they manage to carry him to the kitchen. The sound of Benny’s slow drawl hits him before he can see them. Dean stops dead in his tracks, just listening for a moment. He can’t even tell what is being said, but the way words seem to trickle and drip like warm honey from Benny’s mouth has always been one of Dean’s favorite things. Sam’s nervous laughter snaps him back into the moment, and he pushes the door open.

There he is. Benny fuckin’ Lafitte.

You know the stupid moment in chick-flicks when the main character’s see each other for the first time and it’s in slow motion? It’s real. Somehow he has time to take in the fact that Benny has managed to grow a bit of a beard, and that he still looks just about exactly the same anyways, and that his eyes are blue--but not quite as blue as Castiels--and wide and tilting up with a smile and oh god he’s smiling at him.

Dean isn’t sure what his own face is doing, but he hopes he’s smiling back. Sam bumps into his chair during his quiet attempt to make an exit and time decides to move normally again. Meanwhile, his stomach is doing this weird thing where it feels empty and twisty at the same time. It’s just wonderful.

“Dean,” Benny says.

“Hey,” he breathes out. His hand clenches around thin air. He stuffs it in his pocket. “Did Sam offer you something to eat? He can be so rude sometimes--”

“I’m good,” Benny interrupts. Dean stops halfway to the fridge, hovering awkwardly.

He has no idea what the fuck to say. The last thing he’d been expecting was for Benny to show up at his house. He can’t even get a read on what he’s feeling. Thankfully, Benny doesn’t make him talk first.

“Last time I talked to you, you were breakin’ up with me,” he says slowly. Dean swallows.

“Was I?” He cringes inwardly. Who says something like that? What is wrong with him? Benny doesn’t react besides a slight raise of his eyebrow.

“Over the phone. The day after I told you I loved you and instead of responding, you kicked me out of your house because your dad came home early.” Dean swallows dryly. He doesn’t say anything. This has got to be the most awkward thing that has ever happened to him. Even worse than when Castiel’s older brother Michael walked in on him in the bathroom, and that’s saying something. “I gotta say, I was planning on never speaking to you again. Two days ago, if someone had told me I’d be standing in Dean Winchester’s kitchen, I woulda laughed in their face. But you turned eighteen a few months ago, so you were probably expecting me, weren’t you?”

That’s--well, okay, Dean hasn’t had a coherent thought in the last five minutes. It’s pure adrenaline that gives him enough common sense to nod in response to the question. Benny, mercifully, doesn’t seem to be too put off by his silence. 

“Let me guess, you found out I was your soulmate, you panicked for a while, and then you got shitfaced drunk at Bradburry’s house?” He doesn’t sound angry. In fact, he looks a little amused.

“Castiel’s,” Dean corrects sheepishly. Something loosens in his gut when Benny laughs wholeheartedly. “Shut up,” he groans, covering his face.

“I’m not judging,” is all he says, but he continues to chuckle. Dean can’t help but laugh a little too. 

“Really? ‘Cause it seems like you’re judging.”

“Okay, maybe I’m judging just a little,” he relents. Dean can’t stop smiling. Whether it’s the relief that comes from realizing that Benny doesn’t totally hate him or just being with him and joking like this again, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t really care. He just knows it feels good. “I gotta be honest, at first it made me feel a little better to know you probably felt like the world's biggest douche when you found out.”

“That’s fair. I definitely felt like a douche. I’ve been feeling like a douche since the day I called you.” The pit in his stomach returns as the smile drops from Benny’s face. He takes a steadying breath. “I wasn’t completely honest with you. When we broke up.”

“Oh?” Benny crosses his arms, tilting his head in a way that reminds Dean of Cas.

“When my dad came home...he found out. About us. About me. He--he didn’t like it,” Dean says delicately. Benny only knows bits and pieces about his home life, about John, but it’s enough to connect the dots. His eyes widen, but he lets Dean continue. “I didn’t want to break up with you. I just didn’t know what to do.” A lump rises in his throat and he feels that phantom panic rising in his chest that returns every time he thinks about that day. “I didn’t know what to do,” he echoes. All of a sudden it’s hard to breathe. He’s just repeating himself and hyperventilating in the middle of his kitchen out of nowhere.

“Hey, woah, Dean.” Benny is walking towards him, arms out with his palms down, as though he’s calming a spooked horse.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps. “I’m sorry. I just--I didn’t know what to do.” Benny is right in front of him but he looks lost now, as though he’s not sure whether or not he should reach out and touch him.

“It’s okay. Dean, I swear. It’s alright. Just breathe.” Dean stares at him, eyes wide, and tries to breathe. Benny looks right back at him, breathing deeply to show him what to do. Like some kind of fucked up lamaze class.

It takes a while for his heart to dislodge itself from his throat, but eventually Benny coaxes him onto the couch. Dean stares at the rings from countless glasses on the coffee table, distantly wondering how long after Mom’s death they made it before giving up on using the coasters. Probably not very long.

“We used to have coasters.” He doesn’t know whether he surprises himself or Benny more by voicing this thought. “When Mom was alive.”

“Yeah? The really white ones with y’all’s pictures on them?” Dean chokes a laugh, bumping Benny’s shoulder with his own.

“No. They were shitty little plastic ones, if you must know,” he corrects him.

“Oh, well, in that case…” They laugh again. Too loud for the small room with John only a couple doors away. But they don’t care. In fact, Dean has never cared about anything less in his whole fucking life. Because he’s sitting on the couch with his actual soulmate. And it’s Benny fuckin’ Lafitte. After a while, though, all he can think about is texting Cas. He can’t wait to see his reaction.

When he can’t stand it anymore, he begs off to go to the bathroom and shoots him a quick text.

To: Cas  
benny is here. going rly well. rough start. cried a little bit. ill call you tn

He waits as long as he can stand to be away from Benny and doesn’t get a response, so he stuffs his phone back in his pocket and returns to the couch. When he sits back down, he finds Benny’s arm snaking around his shoulder. The smile spreads across his face before he can stop it. His phone dings a few times in his pocket, but he’s afraid that if he moves to get it out he will disturb their bubble of peace and Benny will move his arm away.

They spend the next hour catching up on everything they’ve missed since they last spoke: Benny is bussing tables at a bar downtown, Dean is set to graduate early so he can work full time at Bobby’s garage. But the longer they sit, the more anxious Dean gets about John waking up and stumbling into the room. Every creak makes him more jumpy and it doesn’t take Benny long to catch on to what is distracting him. He puts his number in Dean’s phone and kisses his cheek before disappearing out the door. 

Dean touches his cheek like an idiot and stares at the closed door until he remembers that someone had texted him.

Cas  
period! get some king

Cas  
actually don’t put out. whore.

Cas  
wait omg it’s 2020 u do u <3

Cas  
seriously tho, i am happy for you, dean. 

Dean rolls his eyes but grins all the same. It’s always funny when Cas uses slang.

To: Cas  
thx man. want to come over?

Cas  
omw :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Um--Cas?” His voice is too rough. Cas raises his eyebrows again, looking dazed. “You can get off, now.”
> 
> “Oh! Sorry.” Cas looks suddenly distant as he clambers to his feet and pulls Dean up after him. Whatever just happened, it’s over now. Cas is brushing something off of Dean’s shoulder and fixing his tie again, gentler than before. “There.” He steps back and sweeps his eyes over him. Dean focuses on breathing. “Fix your cuffs,” he chides softly, turning away from him. Dean’s fingers fumble more than he’d like to admit.
> 
> Cas has busied himself with something on Dean’s dresser, he can’t tell what, but he has a feeling that he doesn’t want to talk. Something in the set of his shoulders makes Dean anxious.
> 
> “Cas--” Someone rings the doorbell.
> 
> “That’ll be Benny,” Cas says gruffly. “I’ll go let him in.” He doesn’t look at Dean before disappearing out the bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i love you guys. the homos jump out in this chapter but it is a lot shorter than the others. im almost done with chapter three already so that'll be out soon.

Cas slaps at his hand as he raises it to try to straighten his tie.

“I’ve got it. Hold still,” he orders, yanking on it roughly. Dean stumbles forward but stops short of complaining when Castiel’s blue eyes snap up to glare at him. Tensions have been high since the fourth Youtube tutorial on how to correctly tie a tie, and Cas didn’t have to agree to help him get ready for the date anyway, so Dean has done his best not to bitch too much. Cas tugs it around a few more times before fixing his collar over it and stepping back to admire his work.

“How do I look?” He isn’t quite sure what to do with his hands, which hang awkwardly away from his body. He straightens his back as much as possible and raises his chin. Cas bites back a laugh. Dean groans. “Dude.” He pulls at his suit cuffs, trying to get them off, but Cas swats at his arm again, still laughing.

“No, stop, you look good!”

“Yeah? That’s not very comforting when you’re cackling,” Dean mutters, still tugging at the cufflinks. This was a stupid idea anyway. He hates the stupid monkey suit and the stupid gel in his hair and--

“Dean Winchester, stop it!” Cas grabs his wrists and pulls them away from each other. “You look really good, I swear. I’m just not used to seeing you like this. You look a little stiff, that’s all.” Dean tries to stay annoyed. He honestly does. But Cas is looking at him with his eyes wide and blue and stupidly innocent, he can’t help it when a small smile plays at his lips. 

He tries to pull his hands away so he can turn and hide the grin, but Cas has a vice-like grip on his wrists. He twists himself, but Cas follows, leaning over him to keep ahold of him, obviously thinking Dean is still trying to take off the suit.

“Cas, get off! You big doofus--” Dean’s foot catches on something as he takes a step back and they tip over. Cas lands on top of him roughly, finally releasing his wrists. There’s a very sharp elbow digging painfully into Dean’s ribs, but he’s laughing too hard to have the energy to shove him off. Cas is laughing too, his whole body shaking above Dean as he tries to untangle himself. “You’re such a fucking idiot,” Dean manages to grouch despite his laughter.

“You love it.” Cas shifts, putting more weight onto the elbow that is pushing into Dean’s ribs. He groans, shoving at Castiel’s arm without even thinking about it. Unfortunately, Cas had been leaning heavily on that elbow for balance. The subsequent crash of the full body weight of his best friend onto him knocks him breathless. “What the f--” Cas finally pushes himself off the ground without using Dean as a launchpad, but he hovers over him to catch his breath.

“I think you punctured my lung,” Dean accuses, glaring up at him. Cas quirks an apologetic smile and tilts his head. Something in Dean’s chest twinges and something in the air shifts. All of a sudden his eyes are moving without his permission to glance at Castiel’s lips, just in time to see his tongue shoot out to wet them. Woah. When he manages to pull his gaze back up to his eyes, he finds Cas watching him with his eyebrows raised.

They’re very close to each other. It’s not like they’ve never ended up in far more compromising positions toward the end of impromptu wrestling matches for the remote or the last cookie, but Dean has never been quite so aware of Cas before. It’s like he is electrically charged. Everywhere that they are in contact is tingling. He’s painfully aware of the fact that Cas is basically straddling him.

“Um--Cas?” His voice is too rough. Cas raises his eyebrows again, looking dazed. “You can get off, now.”

“Oh! Sorry.” Cas looks suddenly distant as he clambers to his feet and pulls Dean up after him. Whatever just happened, it’s over now. Cas is brushing something off of Dean’s shoulder and fixing his tie again, gentler than before. “There.” He steps back and sweeps his eyes over him. Dean focuses on breathing. “Fix your cuffs,” he chides softly, turning away from him. Dean’s fingers fumble more than he’d like to admit.

Cas has busied himself with something on Dean’s dresser, he can’t tell what, but he has a feeling that he doesn’t want to talk. Something in the set of his shoulders makes Dean anxious.

“Cas--” Someone rings the doorbell.

“That’ll be Benny,” Cas says gruffly. “I’ll go let him in.” He doesn’t look at Dean before disappearing out the bedroom door.

“What the fuck,” he whispers to himself. “Oh, what the fuck. What the fuck. What the--”

“Wow,” Benny drawls from the doorway. Dean almost jumps out of his dress shoes. He clearly hadn’t heard Dean’s swearing, because he is leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, smiling appreciatively. When Cas appears behind his shoulder, Dean’s stomach spikes with guilt.

But there’s no reason to be guilty. Nothing happened. They tripped. Cas is his best friend. Benny is his soulmate.

“Wow yourself,” Dean replies, finally taking in his appearance. He’s wearing a similar suit to Dean’s, a size too small on him, rough looking brown dress shoes, and hurriedly pressed pants. He looks perfect. Dean takes a steadying breath. When he lets it out, he sends all thoughts of Cas out with it. He even manages a smile as he walks toward Benny. “You clean up pretty good, Lafitte.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Only the real pretty ones,” Dean says quietly, reaching out and smoothing out the fabric on Benny’s shoulder.

“Well, how sweet. Hey--hold on.” Benny grabs Dean’s wrist, where Cas was holding him minutes ago. “Your cufflink,” he explains, voice soft and smooth as he works with deft fingers to fix it.

Dean doesn’t even realize that Cas has walked away until he hears the front door close. Benny seems to hear it too. He glances over his shoulder and looks back at Dean questioningly.

“Is he okay? He seemed quiet when I got here,” he sounds genuinely concerned, bless his heart. Of course Benny fuckin’ Lafitte is spending his time being worried about Dean’s friend who he barely knows, just because he seemed quiet.

“He’s fine,” Dean assures him, hand still on Benny’s shoulder. “He stayed over last night, I kept him up all night. He’s grumpy when he’s tired, that’s all. Are you ready to go?” He says this all a little too fast, but Benny doesn’t seem to notice, he just nods and steps out of the way to let Dean lead.

“That’s ungrateful of him,” Benny says, following him. Dean turns and looks at him, confused. “Well, I’m just sayin’, I wouldn’t be grumpy if you kept me up all night--” Dean punches him in the arm.

“Not like that--watch your step getting into the car,” Dean says as though the idea is laughably preposterous. Him and Cas? Never...right? “You’re a freakin’ perv.”

“You love it.” You love it. Cas said that to him not five minutes ago. While laying on top of him. Right before Dean stared at his mouth for far longer than is socially acceptable. He’s pulling out of the driveway before he remembers to respond.

“Maybe I do,” he says honestly. Maybe he does. But he isn’t sure which one of them he is thinking of.

“So,” Benny continues, not noticing Dean’s minor crisis, “you got us all gussied up, where are we going?” Dean shakes his head--as though he can physically knock the last half hour out of his memory--before answering.

“I got us a reservation at Americana downtown.” Lie. Cas got them reservations at Americana and then gave Dean the information.

“Americana, wow. That’s expensive, isn’t it?” Benny’s voice is light, but delicately so. Dean thinks of his beat up shoes and borrowed suit jacket.

“It’s not too bad.” Lie. Three weeks worth of paychecks. “Besides, I’m the one who dumped you over the phone, so I’m the one who picks up the expensive date checks.” Truth.

“Well, if you insist. I guess it would be rude of me to turn you down.”

“I’d be heartbroken,” Dean says dryly. Benny laughs. Dean glances at him only to notice that his hand is sitting awkwardly on the center console. He’s supposed to grab a hold of it, right? That’s what people do on dates. With their soulmate. He wipes his palm against his pants in what he hopes is a sneaky way and curls his shaking fingers into Benny’s steady ones. He stares at the road determinedly, but he can’t help but smile when he feels Benny looking at him.

“What’re you lookin’ at, Lafitte?”

“You,” he says so unabashedly that it makes Dean blush. He can feel his face warming up as he merges onto the interstate. He doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just holds Benny’s hand tighter and keeps his eyes on the road. 

The first thing that Dean realizes at dinner is that it’s all so easy with Benny. He’d forgotten how quickly they could banter back and forth. Any silences between them are short lived and filled with stolen glances and shy smiles. He doesn’t want anything to interrupt this night. He doesn’t even check his phone when he feels it buzzing in his pocket.

That was his first mistake.

After dinner, Benny suggests they take a walk through the city. It’s such a beautiful night. When Dean takes his hand, his phone still stuffed in his pocket, he makes his second mistake. Whoever needs something from him can wait. Tonight, he’s going to allow himself to have some fun. He’s going to hold his boyfriend’s hand and point out stupid things like the geese in the pond and act like he’s seeing something amazing for the first time. He’s going to blush like an idiot when he catches Benny looking at him instead of the graffiti Dean’s pointing out.

Somewhere across town, Castiel is standing in a hospital waiting room, listening to Dean’s voicemail for the third time that night. In front of him, Sam is pacing back and forth with his hands on his head.


End file.
